she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
