Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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