Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
