I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
