Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just gargled with NyQuil
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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