i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
