Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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