My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Randomize
