Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
