Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
