I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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