soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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