his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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