we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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