I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
