You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
