So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
