some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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