Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
