During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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