you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
