I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
