So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
