I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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