Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize