just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
