I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Randomize
