I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
