on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
