My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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