Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
