you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
We named our party play list daddy issues
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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