Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Randomize
