So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
