I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize