Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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