Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
