Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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