CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
