I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
