Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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