you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize