my mouth tastes like poor choices
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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