I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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