Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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