just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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