you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
