Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
I'm really busy with my period
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