Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
That accounts for only three of the penises
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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