I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
