I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
