I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
