Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
