I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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