I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
