a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize