I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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