Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Bring me that man meat
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
