is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
