You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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