forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
